If They Only Knew...

I have been thinking lately about those things that bring me real joy.  I'm talking about the kind of joy that absolutely makes me feel like I can go on for another day.  I'm talking about the kind of joy that lifts my spirits more than anything else.  I'm talking about the kind of joy that brings tears to my eyes and lets me know that I am truly loved and makes me feel so grateful for those people in my life.  I'm sure that those people who provide me with the opportunity to feel this kind of joy have no idea that their actions have this kind of effect on me.  If they only knew...

If Cari only knew that it means so much to me when she calls me out of the blue just to say hi.  Cari sent me a very brief email last week  - all it said was "Hi mama...love you!"  I have saved that email and I read it over and over again. 

If Cari only knew that it means so much to me to know that she reads my blog.

If Jared only knew how much it means to me when I go to give him a hug and I just stand and cry, because it feels so good when he hugs me back.

If Jared only knew how much it means to me when I see him making good choices.  If he only knew how much I want for him to be truly happy - happy in the gospel.

If Jordan only knew how much it meant to me when he stood and held me as I cried ( probably for about 5 minutes!) during one of my melt downs.  As I sobbed about my frustration about not being able to lose weight, despite all of my efforts, he gave me words of encouragement and promptly gave me chapters in some of his books from school to read about metabolism etc. 

If Jordan only knew how much it means to me when I get a text from him thanking me for making his lunch.

If Scott only knew how much it means to me that he sends text messages to Howard and I.  I truly feel he is our son and I am glad to know that he thinks of us as his family too.

If Howard only knew how much it means to me when he talks to me and treats me tenderly, rather than in his sometimes sarcastic way.  I feel so happy when I feel of his genuine concern for me.

If Kathy only knew how much her blog postings inspire me and give me hope to be a better person and to develop the kind of faith I need in order to weather any storm.  If she only knew how much it meant to me that she calls me once in awhile.

I don't ask for much...it's the small and simple things done by my family that mean the world to me.  I am grateful to have such great kids, husband, siblings and parents.